The Victorian era in Britain was characterized by an emphasis on “respectability” which formed a part of the domesticity ideology that treated the home as a place created for women. Proper, respectable behaviour was a function of belonging to the middle class. A significant number of savoir‑vivre guides published contemporaneously informed the reader not only about receiving guests but also about courtship and marriage. The subject of the article is a close reading of these etiquette guides and the Englishwoman’s Domestic Magazine letter section, which frequently addresses issues of courtship and marriage. The analysis of the texts using rigid gender roles as presented in the guides and the comparison of them with the letter section of the magazine shows that young readers expressed their independence and assertiveness in trying to contest these rules.